Tag Archives: Jon Mills

Heavens four-fendered!


Well today I find myself among the same ageing exhibits as my old favourite, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, wings at the ready. What a beast! What memories of inventors, toy makers and an excellent child catcher (sadly nowhere to be seen at the Thinktank Museum in Birmingham today). The main attraction is of course a fine array of Rowland Emmet’s other fantastic machines, alongside works by many others, including yours truly (ahem!) – I’m especially pleased to be next door to the inventor Wilf Lunn of Vision On fame…another refreshing headlong stagger, reeling down Memory Lane, taking in a truly scrumptious lungful of oily air…




Sacrilege in olde Smithy!


Jon Mills? Let loose in a 250 year old Smithy? Helping residents make what? A Legend of Zelda door knocker? Who?


What? See the movie here? https://vimeo.com/160872648  ?

I don’t think so, thank you very much.

An Elephant boot scraper….


and a Good luck door knocker???


Well… you wont get much good luck if you come knocking on MY door Mr Mills….

Watt’s on his mind?


Well I just happened to tell that Mr.Mills about my “Lost Factories” dream, and he has the temerity to try and turn it into a reality. He does a chalk drawing of MY head on the floor and fills it with all of the things that were in MY dream:head drawing with bitsHe then (rather crudely I must say), bends bits of steel rod into the shape of my head, before shaping (very crudely) and welding (very crudely) steel sheets on to it. Idiot. I wish I had as much spare time to idly waste.

former  shaped outline1

It’s at this point I start to worry. He makes my glasses and I can begin to see what he’s getting at:

glasses on A ridiculous moustache,moustache onis followed by what he imagines is nose hair. I have no idea where THAT inspiration came from:

nose hair in

THEN, he puts a fairy in my hair. What is this man on?

fairy3 This is swiftly followed by scarecrows and factories, water rats and shipyards, rockets and trains… the list goes on. I should never have told him about it.rat etclots

And as if sticking the whole lot onto a set of wheels wasn’t rubbing enough salt into the wounds,


he puts a crab about to go down my collar:


Well you can kindly just skedaddle Mr.Mills – I shan’t be telling YOU any more of my dreams.

Coming soon(er or later), the new bustblocker:

book promo-shads




Mr Mills – let me be the first to say how absolutely ridiculous you look, driving this contraption around Sussex. I have heard rumours that you are going to write MY name on the side of it….oh the shame of it!image


Brain surgery manual


Recently acquired from an on-line auction, this classic manual is surprisingly not well thumbed. However, I would highly recommend reading it from cover to cover before performing any of the exercises held within.'haynes'


A Pink Pylon?


A Pink Pylon? With birds on springs? At a hospital! Absolutely ridiculous.

Is it Art? I fear not Mr.Mills! At the risk of repeating myself ~ take it down – NOW!



Skype News





I hear that Jon Mills has been attempting to answer questions on my behalf at Hertford infants.
I suggest you move your light a little bit further under the bushel Mr Mills.
My shed door remains firmly shut to YOU. See more at http://kingfisherclassblog.wordpress.com/2014/02/28/skype-with-jon-mills/