Monthly Archives: July 2013

A stick-kid Bridge?


I have just been reliably informed ~ that charlatan metalworker Jon Mills has made a Stick Kid bridge and the crane will be lifting it into position tonight. Well it’s a bridge too far Mr Mills ~ I doubt you have done all of the nuts and bolts up properly and furthermore I have instructed all of the stick kids to run away as soon as it’s dark. So there.



Outrageous. The Art Police will NOT be very happy.

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Ask Grumpy Mr Watt a question


ask Mr.Watt a question

I suppose I might get around to answering it at some point….. click on the comments button below and I MIGHT, just MIGHT read it. I suppose. Possibly…. maybe…

Previous questions that have annoyed me are:

From Ian:

Mr Watt, were you always grumpy or was it being forced to do sport at school that made you grumpy?

Mr Watt replies I have always been blessed with grumpiness… if it’s sport you’re after I would suggest taking a Running Jump

From Caroline: Hi Mr Watt, what are your true feelings about blogging and the current trends towards being transparent as a human being? Do you think it might affect your ‘particular’ … as we know… ‘grumpy’ nature and your views on the meaning of life?

Mr Watt replies: True feelings? TRUE FEELINGS? Transparency? I can see right through that nonsense.

From Sophie: Welcome to blogging Mr Watt, lets see if you can make that go wrong too.

Mr Watt replies:I most certainly will.. what it needs is a jolly good spanner in the works.

From Ian: Mr Watt, are you grumpy about having to publish electronically?
Mr Watt replies: Bah! I will be using a new app… app-oplectic….

From Kate:  Mr Watt, you have run the race, overcome many hurdles, swum with sharks, is it time for the high jump?
Mr Watt replies:  “Sport is a waste of time and should be thrown into the long grass”. Discus.

From Lizzie: Mr Watt….Are you ‘can’tankerous? 🙂

Mr Watt replies:  Yes, in an ‘iron’ic sort of a way

From John:  Mr Watt ~ what’s your favourite type of screw? Unified National Coarse? British Standard Fine? Is there one you could recommend?

Mr Watt replies: Nuts and bolts can be such a wind up… My recommended thread? BA h! of course. British Association – an almost obsolete thread which strangely seems appropriate: a fine thread for the discerning nut.

Mr. Watt Mobile Game


I say – I was very grumpy this morning – then I came across this blog – turning my life into a mobile phone game – outrageous! Strangely not quite so grumpy any more now though…… very good, Mr Stanton


Mr. Watt thinks he’s wasting his life inventing things that don’t seem to work. Depressed by this he goes to bed, but next morning he discovers his home has been torn apart by someone. Furious by the scene Mr. Watt sets out to find the one responsible for this. Accompanied by Giant Crab and Jack Russell along the way, Mr. Watt and the two head-off to Mrs. Witch’s lair, due to thinking that she’s evil enough to destroy anyones home. But Mr. Watt may have to invent a few things to get pass trouble. No time for juggling, Jack Russell!

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